Why Not?

So I got a belly dancing hip skirt the other day. It's my new obsession. Learning to shake my hips like there's a motor in my ass. Which brings me to my next topic. How cute is Shakira? I want her hair, and those booty skills, but alas, I am not THAT talented, so the guys I live with and I came up with a better idea.

Miniature celebrities. In cages. Sounds cruel, but its not. Little pets. Or even fun size ones. Breakthrough science, these are minor details. The point is as follows. If you are offended, stop reading. Thank you:

Shakira (mini or otherwise) get a cage. A nice large plexiglass page, with her own hot tub and exercise room. There is a radio, cd player; she can pick her own tunes, or write some on her guitar. She dances on cue. Hips flicking, rib cage pumping, butt shimmiying- moving at impossible sppeds in impossible ways. Dressed in a white linen hippie gown, no shoes, her stunning wild hair. She is happy, eats and dances, and we are entertained. The boys want to go futher, to do what we have been doing for years, want to display a beautiful woman in all of her sexuality for their enjoyment, because there is nothing more beautiful than a gorgeous woman. They have a plan. The boys want a water system rigged, so that to drink water, Shakira will have to pull a string, which is in turn attached to a bucket of water, and to drink she will have to try to get a trickle from that bucket into her mouth. Of course she'll miss, and get all dripping wet, in her white dress. The boys also want a pool of jello in there, and lot so tanning oil. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I understand the aesthetic beauty of an oiled, jello tinted beautiful woman, but really, shouldn't we let Shakira decide if that's what she wants? I've always wanted a pool of Jello though, so maybe it is the right thing to do. Anyway, point of the story, Shakira, in a cage, shakin what her mama gave her, possible Jello, possibly a pole or two. Nice yea? Maybe she can give me some pointers on dancing. Or hey to hell with it, maybe we can go play in the Jello. It's alway sounded like fun. Let the boys enjoy themselves.



Next- Pint sized Alicia Keys- piano included, can sit on your mantle and play blues all day.