Body Conscious

So I was riding with a friend yesterday and he was complaining about his body in a backhanded kind of way and all the while I was thinking, guys do this? I didn't think there was anything wrong with his body- good shoulders, good neck, cute butt, he seemed strong enough- what's the problem? He wants washboard abs. Don't lie, he says, you'd like to lick that V that guys get when they work out. He didn't believe me when I disagreed. I mean- work out- yes. Keep your heart healthy. That's very important.

Men: let me set you straight. As a woman, albeit a somewhat offbeat one, I think I know a little bit about what women want. Washboard abs honestly scare me, and I don't care if you believe me or not. Most women have little or no self-esteem. Congrats if you do. I don't. I've spent my entire life fighting with the girl in the mirror and the voices in my head telling me that I'm not good enough or I'm worthless blahdidididi blah blah. I was the girl who didn't date much in high school, but had lots of male friends. None of them ever asked me out. I discovered my sexuality at 18. A little on the late side.

Now why do you care? Because I am one of your typical women who was not placed on a pedestal, who was never told she was beautiful ( mom and dad don't count), who is not followed, and who, because of all this, does not expect perfection. Are you kidding me? Washboard abs means you spend all day in the gym- where is the time for me? What are we doing together? A woman wants someone who plays with her, talks to her, makes her laugh- that's it. Well, there are some other skills that would be nice- I'm a big fan of being touched- but that's a whole other issue on a whole different level. Basically, most women easy. Or at least I am. But then again, I never got around much. Still don't. But I figure I am one of hundreds of everyday simple women, and men should stop trying so hard. Be yourself man.

I also find it funny that attractive men are finally falling to the pressures of pop culture. I guess those giant David Beckham billboards are penetrating the masses. I guess equality has finally hit. I mean, women have obsessed about looking like supermodels forever. I used to cry while looking over those long legged glossy magazine angels. I used wish for beauty to grace my face and body, and when it didn't happen I got so angry. I was a bitter angry person wishing so hard for grace and transcendence in the form of a female mosaic. Like I could build myself into this ideal of the perfect woman- like a puzzle. Those legs. Her tits. That stomach. Her eyes. Her hair, in THAT color, but this long... Now, I just try to be happy, and that kind of happiness doesn't care if I'm not pretty. I've gotten over whether or not men think I'm pretty enough. If I'm not pretty by now, it's probably not happening. I'm passable- even cute sometimes. Just don't touch the Buddah. Screw it man, I'm lovable, I'm feisty, and smart. I'm also a pretty good kisser. I do have to admit though- there is nothing more stunning than a gorgeous woman.