Wet

Under water,

floating in my self- inflicted-

weakness encouraged

personalized

purgatory,

face slack,

eyes open,so this time perhaps I will learn

everything red,

I tilt my head

where is up?

which is down?

Which direction will take me to where i must needs be

to embrace what I want

out of my existence

to stop these lungs from burning

burn as if a colony of fire ants

let loose and given cigarettes,

which they suck on greedily

as they scurry around my heart

where my oxygen should be.

blue dots in my peripheal vision.

I stay still.

my hair looking like an anenome, the only sign of life about me.

I cannot shake the water from my mind,

cannot squeeze it out of my hair.

Somewhere in this feeling

is this realization-

I Am

sad,

lonely,

I am not alright.