Dear heart

We dance carefully now.

Confusion.

You are not to have this effect on me

Not when we are so alike

We were always close enough to cuddle,

Not afraid to embark in fisticuffs

And secure enough in our friendship to not

Worry

About undue sparks.

But…

I guess the house of our camaraderie got

Too warm

Too inviting

And temptation made its trespass.

Out one night,

Dancing,

Playing,

Too much booze.

My back against the wall of some club downtown

It was raining,

I was smoking,

And you were asking too many of the hard questions

About him.

I made the blunder of mistaking your curiosity

For brotherly concern.

But then you were touching my hair-

Suddenly all I could hear was the strange noise

Of our carefully built barrier

Crashing down.

It sounded like love-hate.

It sounded like some kind of passion.

It sounded like confusion.

You pinned

My arms

Above my head

And swooped in for a kiss.

Confusion.

I could not think

Racing through my mind were pinpoints of light and the phrase

“How in the hell did this happen?”

As I tried not to recognize my body’s

Response

To your

Foreign- yet- familiar touch.

Now we are guarded.

Layering our armor,

Like sweaters to protect from the cold.

We are more naked than ever.

Sweet confusion.

If I had known

How much our friendship would change,

Dear heart,

I would’ve kissed you back.